Category: For The Guys

(From a Woman’s Perspective)

A lot of women fantasize during sex (whether they admit it or not). It can be as small as her thinking about her partner in a different scenario with him/her involved, to fantasizing about somebody else making love to her. Personally, most of the time I fantasize about the person I’m with but, on some occasions, I do think about other people.

It just happens

Sometimes I can’t help fantasizing about other people. It will be dark or maybe I’m a little drunk and he/she looks different and that’s it I’m off into my fantasy world. Sometimes my fantasy involves other people, other people that I should not be fucking! Sometimes it’s people I don’t like but it’s too late. They pop into my mind I’m already fucking them in my fantasy. I don’t mean it to happen but it just does, I can’t help it happening and my guess is that some men do it while they are fucking me as well.

I am not alone

Lots of women fantasize during sex, some won’t admit it, some don’t even know they are doing it and a small proportion are like me and know just how naughty they are! What men need to realize is we do it and that we probably do it a lot more than they think. A lot of guys feel threatened by this because they don’t understand it. Especially if the fantasy involves other people which it quite often can.

Why do women do this?

Women orgasm with their minds, this is how we cum! We talk to ourselves and run mental movies in our mind’s to help us climax. We have to do this or quite often we might struggle to even reach a climax and you wouldn’t want that would you boys? We often need to fantasize to reach orgasm and the fear that you won’t understand this makes us feel the need to keep it a secret.

We feel that by withholding the truth we are saving ourselves from being judged unnecessarily. We know some men don’t understand the truth and because men cannot see what is happening then it’s easier for us to keep quiet.

What scares men about it?

Men feel that they have lost control because they can’t see what is happening or that their woman is being unfaithful if she fantasizes. I can understand this to a certain extent. If a man is focusing on his lover and she is thinking about another person I appreciate how this could be hurtful. But from her perspective she does not mean to cause him harm she is merely helping him bring her to orgasm. So ladies if you do fantasize about other men while sleeping with your lover you do need to be sensitive about his feelings. Imagine if it was the other way round, you were totally focused on him and he was think about fucking some other girl… How would you feel?

Together it can be better!

Ladies… You might be able to turn this situation around by being honest with your partner. Talk to him about your fantasies, why you have to fantasize and what can be done to involve him. Instead of them being a guilty secret they can be used to increase the fun you have TOGETHER.

Men… You need to accept that most women fantasize during sex and that might be about other people. If you can accept that it’s completely natural then you can share this with her instead of running away from it. Try coming up with a naughty scenario during sex and order her to act it out in her mind (it’s bound to work!)

Find fantasies that you can share together and use this to enhance your sex life. Remember guys that a women’s orgasm starts in her mind not her body. If you can turn her mind on then you will have a great level of control and power over her (in a good way!).

Why not check out our community to find like-minded friends that share your passion for sex and sexy fun?

Love

PS – Nancy Friday wrote a lot about female fantasies in one of her most famous books “My Secret Garden“.

Whilst writing the first few blog posts for the website Lola and I realized that there was something missing. I am totally straight and Lola is bi but definitely on the straighter side of bi (if you get my meaning).

What this means is that this blog, the articles in our library and the help and advice we offer is mostly targeted at straight guys and girls (and bi girls). While we don’t feel there is anything wrong with this we do realize it isn’t ideal. We do have a concern that our LGBT friends might not feel as welcome here as they should.

To be honest, it’s not easy for us to address completely. It would for example be ridiculous if I started trying to blog about sex tips for T-Girls etc. If we are to be genuine we can only talk from our own experiences and coming from a place of truth and honesty is very important for both of us.

So, firstly from me and Lola we would just like to say everyone is welcome no matter your gender, ethnicity, sexuality orientation or any other demographic you can think of! It’s very important that whoever you chose to fuck, date or fall in love with, you know you are welcome within this site and community.

Secondly we ask that if there is anything we can do to make you feel more welcome and a valued part of the community please just let us know. If in any way we can help we will do. You can contact us here or via the community here.

Finally we work very hard to keep Secret Erotica a troll free zone. We are intolerant of intolerance, so please let us know if you have any issues and we will resolve them immediately.

Warm welcomes!

PS – This site might be of interest for keeping up-to-date on LGBT news and current affairs etc.